Don't touch me, I bleed
Sometimes I find myself in a dark hole where I can't find myself. I just loose myselkf into a pitch black room, filled with lost emotions and sadness. All I wanted was to be in a group, instead, I got called an arse for a spoiler. Fine, I get it, some ppl react more than others. But still... The basic rule of what you post online is there forever, didn't apply to that girl, which makes me really sad. I know, live and let go, don't hold grudges, learn to forgive... I just canät take anymore crap from ppl, and sometimes, I don't liked being called Penny, even less an arse. I'm sorry if I'm not geeky enough or if I say stuff that's completely wrong.
This makes it even harder to try not to think of "the wrong person". I don't know why but I think of that person more now than ever and I hate that, specially now. In less than a week, I get two things that are much for me to handle. Maybe it's not much for some ppl, but right now, for me, it's alot. I just can't stand it anymore. Yes I did patch it up with the person that was talking "behind my back" so that obviously is over. But I was a bit sore after that, and now, I want more than anything be in that consert, having a moment that I shouldn't even be thinking of, but maybe have fun. To get to the other side isn't tempting, but to feel accepted is. And right now I feel rejected. I don't know what to do. I'm slightly loosing apetite, and no sweets for me makes my life hell. I don't know anything anymore. My patience is running out and all I feel is that I have no friends left,, I must be a horrible person. I know, I'm not suppose to be selfpittying but I can't help it... I'm feeling really down and just wish that my life could end here. I don't want to continue on this so called quest in life. I want the game over, and trust me, I won't be missed. I'm just tired of fighting, tired of being strong, tired of smiling. No one knows when you suffer, so don't waiste any time thinking that someone will care, 'cos they won't. I guess we all just pretend, right?
What ever, I guess that it's better being alone on a cliff, waiting for that push, 'cos superman has already died.
Ps! Sorry for my misspelling
This makes it even harder to try not to think of "the wrong person". I don't know why but I think of that person more now than ever and I hate that, specially now. In less than a week, I get two things that are much for me to handle. Maybe it's not much for some ppl, but right now, for me, it's alot. I just can't stand it anymore. Yes I did patch it up with the person that was talking "behind my back" so that obviously is over. But I was a bit sore after that, and now, I want more than anything be in that consert, having a moment that I shouldn't even be thinking of, but maybe have fun. To get to the other side isn't tempting, but to feel accepted is. And right now I feel rejected. I don't know what to do. I'm slightly loosing apetite, and no sweets for me makes my life hell. I don't know anything anymore. My patience is running out and all I feel is that I have no friends left,, I must be a horrible person. I know, I'm not suppose to be selfpittying but I can't help it... I'm feeling really down and just wish that my life could end here. I don't want to continue on this so called quest in life. I want the game over, and trust me, I won't be missed. I'm just tired of fighting, tired of being strong, tired of smiling. No one knows when you suffer, so don't waiste any time thinking that someone will care, 'cos they won't. I guess we all just pretend, right?
What ever, I guess that it's better being alone on a cliff, waiting for that push, 'cos superman has already died.
Ps! Sorry for my misspelling
